Sunday, December 6, 2009

What is normal?

Living in a different culture has made me to wonder around the word normal. There are things in our lives that we just consider normal and we are so used to things being according to the norm that we don’t even question if this is actually the way we like or enjoy things. We just live normal. According to the norm.

For the first two months I have being struggling of getting into the new normal. And this is something that I believe goes deeper from the cultural shocks. Its not any more understanding the cultural differences like eating, working, praying or living habits. It is about understanding the way of living and expressing emotions. Things that living in your own culture you just consider as part of human nature and would not necessarily attach a cultural factor to it. And even explaining them to people back home, they will try to convince you that you are just trying to justify things for your self: “ There s parts of human nature that is the same in every culture” is the sentence I have heard many times. But only living here and being challenge the norm of human behavior makes it possible to say “No, its not like that”.

The fascinating thing about that is the fact that after a while you reach to the stage of being between the two norms. Like the area between the borders of two countries where you have no rules but you can just decide which country to go to. That s exactly the stage I am at. I still remember very fresh the norms I have grown up with, but I am also starting to get the norms here. And I haven’t really moved out of one nor in to the other one yet.

It’s a strange situation that actually enables you to find out the real you. Your are released from the social norms and pressure and can just see what’s really you. Adjusting to behaviors that used to depress me so much at home. Behaviors that usually would be a source of a good depression. Because they were not normal! And after being able to see that this can actually be normal and not a big thing has made me even to enjoy things that would make me depressed in my norm. this has made me wonder if it ever was my norm or just a social standard. Now I am exploring what are the standards that I actually like and care about and what are not. Feeling the freedom of having no social norms.

At the end the only thing that should ground you are your values. That’s also part of the reason why I think you need some maturity to get maximum out of your cultural experience. And once you have it on the right time of your life it really grows you even more as a person. It grounds you to who you really, while shaping you more adaptable to changes and situations that challenge your norm.